What A Happy College Life This Would Be
If the profs would give us passes, and excuse us from exams;
What a happy college life this would be!
If they'd let us cut their classes, we'd excuse ourselves from exams;
What a happy college life this would be!
We'd never get conditions, never any flunks;
We'd hunt no new positions, when we'd packed our trunks;
O! we'd live a life of ease,
Go to classes when we please;
What a happy college life this would be!
If Ohio's legislature would keep helping us grow;
What a happy college life this would be!
If they'd called us the "University of Ohio,"
What a happy college life this would be!
We'd rival Pennsylvania, Michigan and Yale,
We'd make the other universities turn pale,
All their colors will give away,
To the Scarlet and Gray;
What a happy college life this would be!
If the Lantern only published college news that's up to date,
What a happy college life this would be!
If the Makio would only roast the people that we hate,
What a happy college life this would be!
If scores of big sensations only came this way,
The gab-room girls would be in heaven every day;
If the profs that chew and chew,
Would quit chewing when they're through;
What a happy college life this would be!
What A Happy College Life This Would Be was written by Charles W. Gayman, Music Director of The Ohio State University Men's Glee Club. It could have been written anytime between 1898 and 1900. This song was included as it provides a snapshot of college life, in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Not only that, this song makes fun of college life, as well. It is unknown if this song was sung just by the Men's Glee Club or a popular standard among the student body.
Photo: 1892 North Dorm, Courtesy of The Ohio State University Archives
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Webmaster: Nick Metrowsky
The Ohio State University, BA, History, 1979
Life Member The Ohio State University Alumni Association
Life Member of The Ohio State University President's Club
Annual Member of The Ohio State University Varsity "O" Association
Last Updated: 23 September, 2021